Posted in Things To Contemplate

The Flash

I thought this blog was done. But it’s not. It, being my new life, is just beginning a new era. We moved from the country to a city about an hour and half away. Cowboy, got a promotion, and I have become very serious about my art. It was a good move, but  I was a wreck when I found out that we were leaving the home I finally fell so deeply in-love with.  But I love him more and  he bribed me with a house with space for an art studio and I took that bribe shamelessly.  I talked myself into this by saying that I could go back to some of the things I loved like art galleries and  coffee shops and city parks.   But I will forever miss my birds and my goats and fresh eggs and oh, the sunsets.

The city girl in me was almost squashed… But the idea  of a coffee shop with  skinny non dairy coconut  lattes and little vegetarian  cakes with wi-fi cubbies where I can plan art pieces and write blogs and plan my next move is a delicious thought. I decided it was time for this dream to become a reality… and… i went to the location of said coffee shop and its under construction. How long does it take to build a Starbucks? Its taunting me like a bitter politician every time I drive by.  Apparently they are on a one nail a day quota.

There are a lot of people in this small place.. A lot. The Walmart  here is where happiness goes to die.  Driving here is a hoot. Lots of angry honkers.  The guy at the strip mall plays his guitar and sings as loud as he can for money. He is apparently tone-deaf, poor guy. I give him a 10 when I go there, for hearing aids.  We have been emotionally accosted twice for money by people with instruments. The afore-mentioned guy who  sings Tejano music and a girl with a ukulele who sang  “let it be” in the parking lot of  grocery store. The jr high here looks a lot like a place I would expect to be dropped off when I can’t remember who I am anymore and the high school looks like a prison. I think its appropriate but my girls are not convinced that they need that kind of behavioral intervention.

Cowboy has changed too. I’m not even sure you can call him a cowboy anymore as he  is no longer doing cowboy things. He wears athletic wear and is never anywhere without his neon. He is running… like marathon running, like olympic cross-country crap. I don’t think that’s normal. I mean I get going to the gym, and I get eating right,  maybe even a jog or walk, but why you would want to run on purpose is beyond me. I dont want to do any activity that make me throw up or makes my thighs rub together at a high rate of speed.( fire hazzard) I get it if there is a bear or a fire or a trump rally, but why would you do that for any other reason  than fight or flight?  I dont remember  this being in the brochure before we got married. He comes in and says ” I just ran a 7 mile minute, I was a little slow today”. Oh Bite me…. I think he needs a new name. I think I’ll call him  The Flash from now on, at least until he decides to  join the hells angels or a folk music band or something.


Posted in Things To Contemplate

The country girlexperiment is complete

I am astonished by this journey. Bitter sweetness washes over me as I write this final post. I am ready to move on, but still grieving over the wide open spaces I’ve come to love So much.  

This artistic, soulful, spiritual life-changing, artistic, poo filled, animal filled, dirt road journey has been amazing. 

Grateful. I am just so grateful for this experience. And I got to go through it with my best friend, my dream partner,my loves and a few horses, goats and birds. 

   Its time to move on now. Cowboys job requires it. My work requires it and we are not 25 anymore. So we decided to head on back to the city, with pavement, neighbors and coffee shops. 

     This year has been beautiful and excruciating all at the same time. So much loss, so much change, so much pain, so much joy, so much discovery.

    Healing has been painful. But what is on the other side of it is worth all it was Nessecary to learn to get there.

In spite of lupus, loosing my mom, loosing relationships, changes in my belief systems, I’ve found something incredible.

   I found me out here in the middle of dirt roads and solitude. I know my purpose. I’ve had to take a good hard look at who I am instead of what others expected of me. And I like the raw version of me so much better than the religious, made up, painted up, churched Up version of me. I’m just a Jesus girl with a paint brush in her hand with a passion to help others heal. That’s it.  I refuse to judge or hate or to be a part of anything or organization that does. Its the first time I’ve ever had complete peace with my spiritual life. Im ok in this skin of mine. There is a blank canvas before me. 

   Out here with the coyote,snakes, angry rooster and angry teenagers., I have become fearless. I am not afraid of lupus,or death, or life, or dissapointment. Because I know that I was created to be something more than anything that I have to go through.  I’m ready. I’m ready to create a different life again with all I’ve learned staring at these beautiful sunsets and desert hills. I’m ready

This is my final post. Ill miss you. I hope you will find me creating artistic endeavors and laughing and dreaming. 


Ps…. I got a great house and 20 acres for sale…

Posted in Things To Contemplate

Abstract Angel

Desert Angel Mixed Media Arts {DAMMA}


Below Is a video of the process of creating the Painting “Abstract Angel”.

It is also for sale in my etsy store along with prints. I am working on loading up my etsy store again and hopefully have an online class in the future. Also I will be teaching classes and workshops at Main Street Arts in the fall as well, so stay tuned. In the meantime… there are some amazing classes for adults and children going on at Main Street Arts, in Roswell NM, diagonally across the street from the International Alien Museum, right now by some extremely talented and fun artists.

Don’t forget to make Artistic Hanky Panky… Every chance you get.

View original post

Posted in Things To Contemplate

Wonder Thighs

Out of necessity, I have begun an exercise and diet regimen. Let me be perfectly transparent on this subject. I cheat a lot. Not huge amounts, mind you, but if there is a fingerprint in the icing of your cupcake… it was me.  I always drink my green smoothie but I put coconut and creme brulee in my coffee.   I keep suckers in my purse because menopause is tough. Sometimes I quit before the mile is up on the treadmill and tell google fit I made it to the end of  workout 1. If I make it to the cool down part of the yoga workout dvd… I just go ahead and catch a nap right there.  I’ve dropped almost 10 lbs and have accumulated quite a wardrobe to get me through this.  But today I discovered something I was not expecting. In fact, I have discovered several things that a person who only moves back and forth between the fridge and the couch might not know.

Whoever invented those slippery skin-tight running pants was a dang genius.  For the first time today I wore a pair of these things. I have been putting it off because they looked like they were going to be hot and uncomfortable, and I was right. You could go surfing in these things and nothing is getting through. supergirl     However,  I am a huge fan of Wonder Woman. She is my alter ego. It used to be Zena the warrior princess but I read an article about her being some kind of  stripper or something and decided I didn’t want to be associated with that. Now I kind of think they were from the same island of amazons, just from different sides of the track. Like Audrey Hepburn and Miley.    Any hoo…. i decided to try them.

I have shorts and leggings and yoga pants to work out in but this * (compression Pants) is another world all together. Here is why.

  • IF you get on the treadmill and break 3.5 mph in regular work out clothes, one of two things happen:  You will either get road rash on the inner thigh or start a fire, depending on your choice of attire. Either way, your walking around like you just got off a two day horseback ride and there is no real cure except time and  burn cream. But these compression pants just let your thighs glide and slide as if  you were oiled up for the beach.
  •  I mean to tell you that I was like an olympian and there was no noise.  That swooshing sound some pants make when you walk is simply not there. No swish swash sound of the thighs rubbing together only the sound of REO Speedwagon and Mandisa, because you mixed up your old music with your new music on your phone- cheering you on to finishing your 3/4 of a mile walk.
  • They are trendy. Where else can you get the opportunity to where modern art disguised as a necessary, useful  article of clothing, that is disguised as pants that are not pants at all but really slippery leggings. ( Leggings are not pants so it’s  quite a wardrobe decision.)  I chose wonder woman, but you can get an array of colors and styles . I even saw some with oreos on them which is like dangling a carrot in front of a horse, but they were cute.
  • We have all wanted to join the circus at one time or another or dreamed of being a super hero or a  pole dancer  or a break dancer and I think this is just a little taste of childhood dreams being worn in such a way that they are socially acceptable.  You can live out your dreams:   “Ladies and Gentlemen…. Turn your attention to the center treadmill and watch as Wonder thighs transforms from a middle-aged menopausal  mermaid with a double chin to a  Skinny middleaged menopausal woman with a fake tan and chin splints.”
  •  They distract you from the pain. As I rolled over this morning, I wanted to DIE from the pain of a yoga work out that required me to stand like a brave warrior and then hoist my butt into the air in line with my forehead as my toes rested on the earth above my head while I focused on breathing in health and vitality and exhaling tension. But I got right out of that bed because I had these beauties to look forward too. Not missing that.
  •  And finally: They keep you humble. There really is no shame in wearing a pair of pants that are not really pants at all ( as I mentioned earlier) that cause you to just slide off in the floor and kind of roll around in slow motion as you attempt to sit on your yoga ball to work your abs or pump that iron. It takes a long time to become one with the ball when your slippery pants are dumping you on the ground.  Its an art form so have patience. At some point, you wont care about your dignity anymore. You will simply be glad that for once you did your own thing. You didn’t quit. You didn’t give up. I can feel the transformation taking place as I am writing this…..
  • Here, I will just model a few pairs for you so you can get an idea of the effects of these amazing pants. new-women-yoga-running-pants-high-waist-cropped

We will talk soon but right now I am going to graze like a goat and  spend some quality time resenting  people who can tolerate dairy. xoxoxox


Posted in Things To Contemplate

To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before…even if there is a sign that says not to.

My Husband and I bought an RV.  It was Christened the USS Enterprise and on the back it said “to boldly go”.  So we went and bought it.  It was a sign you know, it was Star Trek.  It wasn’t new but it was really well taken care of. comfortable bed, microwave, two 6 ton tv’s complete with a VCR and tapes and enough room to sleep a bunch of people.rv1

I didn’t think I was going to like it much, but I did. A lot.  Once I got in there and started to fix her up, I was ready to sell the house and send the kids to boarding school. I began to think of all the memories and magical trips we would take. I filled up the refrigerator with food and drink, packed extra underwear and down the road we went with a 12-year-old and  dreams. Big Dreams.

It all started off well enough.  I was giddy about the leg room and the phone charger and the desk like dash-board that would hold my library of books.  It was nice to be able to tinkle without pulling over every 20 minutes which has been my new hobby since menopause started. The hot flash window was amazing and the idea that I could go to bed any time I wanted was amazing.

Our first official stop was at Walmart.  I thought we had arrived at our destination but it was just for supplies.  I thought thats what RV’s did… but apparently its just a stop-over. Let me explain something about Cowboy. He plans nothing. He flies by the seat of his pants. He goes where the wind takes him. I am not made to operate that way. I want a plan, an ETA, a destination and I want it a week or two in advance.  But alas, I was not in charge so we stopped at Walmart and it made us later than we wanted to be.  Cowboy wanted to be there before dark, where ever there was.

By the time we arrived near the secret destination it was dark. I put on my glasses, I looked around and saw the sign that said” all public areas closed due to fire damage” Ok. I think we will just find another place, But Cowboy drove right through that do not go here invisible barrier.

” What are you doing? ” I asked. ” didn’t you see the sign?”

“Dont worry about that sign”  he answers” I am going way passed the public lands”

We are in the forest, on a mountain and the pavement just turned to dirt and ole Captain Kirk just drove on like he was in a four-wheel drive pick up.

I need you to use your imagination now and envision a giant yellow diamond… about 3 feet by 3 feet.  Yellow orange… like the color of sunshine with reflectors that glowed in the headlights of the enterprise. Now imagine on this sign a stick figure person running for its life because a bolder and a falling tree are about to end his little stick figure existence.  That was the next sign on that dirt road that had become more of a washboard than a road.


Did you see that sign, I asked

Yes he angrily replied

Now I am bouncing all over this rolling hotel grasping desperately for a seatbelt and a bible , while holding my chest to keep it from bouncing out of my clothes and thinking to myself ” this is how I am going to die”

He keeps driving.

I am realizing that there is no phone signal and no one knows where we are and that it would take weeks to find our bodies because no one else would go past the stinking signs that clearly informed us that we were going to die if we kept going.

Now there are tears rolling down my cheeks and I am about to abandon ship when a better idea comes into my head. A more natural one that is just more me… and right about the time that the pot holes turned into pits that led straight to hellfire and I decide on mutiny. Something came over me and I threw off that seatbelt and began a rant from the depths of my fear so heart wrenching that he did not even try to argue with me( or at least I did not hear him.) After voicing my objections and fear of impending doom I ran to the back of the Rv and threw Myself on the bed, covered my ears with my hands and prayed” Lord please just let it be quick. ” My body was flying up and bouncing off the mattress with every rock and hole he drove through. I struggled to get in between the covers hoping that would hold me down and sandwiched my head between two pillows. I can hear him yelling from the drivers seat ” WOO HOO baby, I promised you an adventure”.


All I could think was  this is just like when I bought him the Elk Call. It was too much for him. He was loosing his mind and laughing like a crazed old inn keeper who was going to axe through a door at any moment and scream “Heres Johnny”. For the love of all things purple, I just wanted it to stop. So I pretended like I was asleep and Somewhere in there I fell asleep or passed out, I am not sure which.  I was slacking on my mom duties during this ride from hell probably because of the trama… but I have no idea where my 12 year old was all this time, she was oddly quiet. Shock probably.  Hopefully  therapy will help me recall the things I am sure I blocked out.

The next thing I remember is cowboy standing at the end of the bed grinning like a Cheshire cat and he says ” do you see my Smile”

I said “yes do you see mine?”

He didn’t answer, just walked away. I had decided to just stay there in that bed until we were safely home again.

But the next morning, I woke up next to a stream, under pine trees with the smell of coffee coming from the front of the RV.  My sweet daughter frying bacon and my husband putting just the right amount of creme’ brulee creamer in my cup. He had turned it around and gone to an actual RV park with picnic tables and a fire pit and Wifi.  It was as if he knew that pinterest would make up for nearly killing me.   That’s why we are still together. He gets me. And he’s willing to pay for all the therapy I need.