I am astonished by this journey. Bitter sweetness washes over me as I write this final post. I am ready to move on, but still grieving over the wide open spaces I’ve come to love So much.
This artistic, soulful, spiritual life-changing, artistic, poo filled, animal filled, dirt road journey has been amazing.
Grateful. I am just so grateful for this experience. And I got to go through it with my best friend, my dream partner,my loves and a few horses, goats and birds.
Its time to move on now. Cowboys job requires it. My work requires it and we are not 25 anymore. So we decided to head on back to the city, with pavement, neighbors and coffee shops.
This year has been beautiful and excruciating all at the same time. So much loss, so much change, so much pain, so much joy, so much discovery.
Healing has been painful. But what is on the other side of it is worth all it was Nessecary to learn to get there.
In spite of lupus, loosing my mom, loosing relationships, changes in my belief systems, I’ve found something incredible.
I found me out here in the middle of dirt roads and solitude. I know my purpose. I’ve had to take a good hard look at who I am instead of what others expected of me. And I like the raw version of me so much better than the religious, made up, painted up, churched Up version of me. I’m just a Jesus girl with a paint brush in her hand with a passion to help others heal. That’s it. I refuse to judge or hate or to be a part of anything or organization that does. Its the first time I’ve ever had complete peace with my spiritual life. Im ok in this skin of mine. There is a blank canvas before me.
Out here with the coyote,snakes, angry rooster and angry teenagers., I have become fearless. I am not afraid of lupus,or death, or life, or dissapointment. Because I know that I was created to be something more than anything that I have to go through. I’m ready. I’m ready to create a different life again with all I’ve learned staring at these beautiful sunsets and desert hills. I’m ready
This is my final post. Ill miss you. I hope you will find me creating artistic endeavors and laughing and dreaming.
Ps…. I got a great house and 20 acres for sale…