I stumbled out the door at 7:02 am with an oversized cup of cinnamon coffee, a pair of red plaid pajama pants, bed head and a sweater that did not quite do the job. Each week day at about this time I drag myself to the van, honk the horn to get my high schoolers to zero hour ( that’s another story) and then without ever leaving the car, I wish them well and drive myself back home to warm up my coffee, resume my reading and prepare for my amazing creative day. Sounds easy enough?
But today was just a little different. Today, waiting for me at the gate was a chicken about half the size of the other roosters which we have affectionately name :Chicken HAWK….
Suddenly, interrupting my morning routine was this tiny little angry rooster attacking my red, checked, beloved, plaid ,pajama pants. Claws and beaks and feathers and squawking and screaming and coffee and dancing. Yes. All of that was happening. I went with what I had and proceeded to defend myself with my purse and sent him flying across the yard, but before I could get out of the gate the little beelzebub booger got the other leg. Whoosh… across the yard he went again . One. Two more times until finally he gave up and I had won this little battle. I don’t know if he really, really loved my pants or really, really hated them. I don’t have time to examine the feelings of chickens. I am far to busy examining the condition of pajama pants . So I am going to say that Red plaid pajama pants are a fashion statement he just will not tolerate.
When I returned from my trip, there he was, waiting like a protester at a Trump rally and I had to make a decision: Was I going to allow this to intimidate me or hurt me or keep me from my dreamy hot cup of cinnamon heaven or was I going to go all G I Jane? Jane! Jane it is.
I got out of the van, purse in hand and opened the gate. I took a deep breath and charged, purse waiving, yelling and stomping. That rooster cocked his head as if he was realizing that he might be chicken nuggets soon and began to back off fast. I’m smiling… It was all going pretty well until I lost my footing coming up the concrete ramp… Which is why the above picture is covered in grass. Anyway, this display of power apparently worked because after I got up off the ground, Chicken Hawk would not even look at me and did not come after me. I don’t know if he was defeated, or if he was just ashamed of me, but I took my morning back.
Everyone… Everyone has a Chicken Hawk. That thing that keeps us from embracing our day, that tries to keep us from living our life the way God intended us to live it. Maybe its an addiction, a loss, an illness, depression, food, an abusive history, an abusive present, a disability, finances, a spouse that is a total pain in the rump, a hangup you just cant get past that keeps you from engaging your moments as if they were amazing opportunities to be creative and imaginative and joyful.( Maybe its run-on sentences.) Maybe you are a total pain in the rump and it’s your attitude that keeps you from moving ahead.
Some days my CH is my history or my current grief or a feeling of being overwhelmed or old junk that I thought I dealt with already. Some days I don’t even notice that I have one. Lately, My Chicken hawk is Lupus. Sometimes this disease tells me that I should just give up and that I will never do the things I know God has called me to do. It tells me that my dreams are way to big for the strength I have or the talent or the knowledge or resources. And some days I listen. Some days I get down and quit. Some days I make endless excuses and some times I just do the wrong thing because I feel like it. Some days it is cereal out of the box and an inappropriate Netflix binge so I don’t have to think about it. But then God reminds me of this:
John 10:10 “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.”
It’s always humbling when God lets you know how full of crap you are.
It’s always pride swallowing when you are forced to admit you have been a little or a lot lazy.
It’s always stomach turning when you are forced to admit you have been carousing and listening to a thief and a liar and a murderer and destroyer.
That Scripture, that thought is the essence of who Jesus is for us and the epitome of his love for us. Yes He did come to die on the cross and take our place in judgement, but that was only the beginning and some people just never get past that moment. It’s about moving forward about learning to live in “Jesus-ness”. By that I mean getting real about the lies we tell our selves about the things that hold us back. It’s about dealing with the challenge of it even though it’s hard and easier to stay in it. It’s about accepting that challenge as part of the journey. I mean seriously leaving behind the things that keep us in the darkness. I mean learning to love like Christ, see Like Christ, see others like Christ, think like Christ until it’s automatic. It’s about losing the religion, putting your money and your time where your mouth is. It’s about His grace and blessings of uniqueness to each of us that is our own personal creative gifts that we get to use, enjoy, perfect and serve with. It’s about allowing the Holy Spirit to inspire you to spend your time being the creative you were called to be.
The View out my back door #ilovenewmexico