If one more person asks me ” how do you feel about that?”
I am going. To. Freak. Out!
I am so sick of feelings.
How do I feel? I have menopausal breaks throughout the day so frankly it depends on which 20 minute slot you catch me in. It also depends on how close I am to the ice cream and Chocolate counter. If there is cake involved, a tornado could sweep through the valley and I will find the good in it unless it messes up my latte and cake time. Ask me how I feel after I have spent all day with mouthy teenagers beating the crap out of each other and questioning my authority. Ask me how I feel after a hot flash. If you really want to have fun, take a survey of the before and after the hot flash and compare it, and with hold my cake or chocolate covered potato chips. Bring a friend.
I spend far too much time on feelings, However, I am learning to ignore the ones that come with flashes of heat followed by a frozen bag of lima beans on the forehead. I am learning that the ones followed by or preceding the discovery of a new gray hair, wrinkle or another body part heading closer to my knees are not to be trusted. Those kinds of things can produce violent, unpredictable responses. For those things God gave us wine.
Dont judge me.
I am looking far beyond what I feel at this point and asking God to make me UNSHAKEABLE. I want to be that girl who is not controlled by her emotions but rather held together and directed by what I know to be true, no matter how itchy, or sleepless or teary-eyed I am.
This is my word for the year. It took me six months of pondering and searching to know exactly what my standing word would be. But this is it.
Lord, make me unshakeable.
Give me unshakeable faith. Faith that knows that it knows that it knows.
Give me unshakeable compassion. Help me be the first to run to the hurting, to see the person behind the sin. The first to forgive, the first to show up, and the first to share.
Give me an unshakeable go- to- You impulse. Let my first words and thoughts be in thanksgiving to You each day. Let my heart seek you out for all my hearts desires, needs and brokenness first. Make my automatic response be to go to you.
Make me an unshakeable wife.
Make me an unshakeable mom.
Make me an unshakeable sister, friend, neighbor and daughter.
Make me an unshakeable member of the body of Christ.
Create in me an unshakeable prayer life. I want my record to show that I talked to You more than anyone else.
Make me an unshakeable seeker. To know your word and to hold it close to my heart.
Make me an unshakeable Jesus freak… The kind that loves the way you do, sees others the way you do and who knows you so well that I am sure of what you would do, therefore sure of what I would do.
Give me unshakeable eyes. Help me to keep my eyes on you. Give me the ability to love others while looking only through my God colored glasses. Help me not to care about what others think of my devotion to you. Keep me seeing You.
I want to be like You Lord, to know your ways, to hear your voice, to be so close to you that there is no doubt about who I am in you, and you in me. I want to get up everyday with a clear vision of what I am doing and where I am going and the patience in peace to trust that if I dont know, you are working on it.
I want more of you Lord.
Make me unshakeable.