“I’m Cool! ” I exclaimed as a half statement/ half question.
” No Mom, your not” explained my son with a look of complete astonishment on his face as if it is something I should have already been aware of, ” but you are the nicest white lady I ever knew” ( He’s a hispanic child who takes a grinning issue with my whiteness).
This led to a long discussion between several age ranges of my children and the general conscensus is : NO! I’m not Cool.
I dont understand how this happened. My favorite band is the Eagles. I still wear jeans. I am no stranger to a push-up bra and I have been known to wear Converse. How did I cross the line from cool to weird without noticing. I really thought I was hip to the groove.
Maybe it happened when I started saying Hip To the Groove. I admit, I have let a few things go. I mean it’s hard to keep up with the latest fashions and trends when you are trying to keep your behind from getting any closer to your knees. I have no idea what color my hair really is. Some of my teeth are as fake as the spanx I wear underneath that trendy dress my 13-year-old picked out for me on Sunday. When Menopause starts to set in, you are easily distracted by things like chocolate and cake and jowls and elastic waisted pants. The only alcohol you drink is for medicinal purposes like a glass of wine just so you can sleep through a hot flash…. that reminds me, where is my Chillow. This is the most magical device ever invented ever.
ANY WAY, back to the topic at hand…… I was… angry.. yeah upset…..
Not cool. I cannot believe they said that. IN fact It was hinted to that I might be weird.
Weird… Do these people have any idea how long I have restrained myself for the shear fear that I might embarrass the little darlin’s.
I have a secret life…… It’s time to come out of closet…..
.. I’m a “Treky” and commit lines from Star Wars to memory. If I show up at Church on Sunday with a blue streak in my hair and my goofy rope sandals… Just say ” Oh, that’s just Sharon”. I am going to spin wool and felt scarfs and kiss goats and I don’t care who knows anymore.
I am going to sculpt creepy aliens with positive messages and make dolls for little girls and weave my own cloth. I am going to open up my bible and open up my heart to the rest of the world. I am going to ask questions, drag my children to church and teach them not to treat anyone disrespectfully. In fact, I am going to teach them to be weird too.
I am going to see Ninja Turtles. I am going to pull the quills out of a porcupine’s rear end because it makes for the best jewelry( It’s best to do this if you happen upon one that is no longer breathing other wise they won’t hold still) SO if you see me with a pair of pliers on the back country road standing over roadkill… Just wave.
I am Going to drink Chinese tea, do yoga, pray, laugh hysterically, eat vanilla icing out of the can and seek out Chocolate cotton candy. I am going to make new friends and spoil the ones I have. I am going to talk to people I don’t know, dance like no-one is watching, sing loudly and dream big.
NOT Cool? I think I’m Cool.
Peace out Man….
Stuff just got real…..